this is a test.

This was a writing exercise I started, but didn't post. I want to now.

God, he is beautiful. I hate to say this, because it sounds incredibly insensitive, but he looks the most astoundingly breathtaking when he is sad. This is because he looks like a piece of Renaissance art, you know, how all the figures are so completely consumed in whatever they're feeling. That's how his face is. You can almost hear everything that is flying through his head; it is plastered across every little detail. He makes time stop. His big, brown eyes break your heart, whatever emotion is behind them.

He is tall. Athletic. He has long, striding legs. He always moves with purpose. And he is gentle, from the soft, pink line of his lips to the way he holds a baseball. It is impossible to picture his hands doing anything violent. They are much like an overgrown child's, and move as such.

Hanging low off his hips is a small pouch of fat that has always looked to me as if it is confused, as though it doesn't know what it's doing there. He has rich, cafe au lait skin that is soft everywhere. When he holds you in uncovered arms, it feels like you are being wrapped in a thick blanket. He smells like clean laundry, always. I suppose he doesn't directly smell like it, but his natural scent reminds you of the home sweet home odor of fresh, laundered cotton. When I talk to him or am around him, it reminds me, cliche as it is, of the feeling I get when I put on the pair of blue jeans I've had since I was 16. Such a feeling of familiarity, of utmost comfort, of relaxation.

He has thick, dark hair that he slicks back. He has been doing this for so long that it does it naturally now. When you see it, you want to have your hands in it, like cool grass in the shade on an Arizona afternoon. He has a strong jawline, strong chin, he is the picture of Greek masculinity. His voice has a drawl I've never been able to place even though he is an Arizona boy. His voice is sweet, gentle, reminds me of his hands; I have always wanted him to read to me while I've drifted off to sleep listening to his John Wayne-raised, modern cowboy speak.

God, is he beautiful.